Why?
Why do I even bother trying to explain when it seems like you don’t even care? Why do I bother to keep wishing you would tell me that you love me when I know you’re not going too? Why do I bother getting frustrated when you don’t make any sense at all? Why?
Why do I bother crying over you when you don’t even seem to care anymore?
So many times I’ve cried. Wanting your touch to calm me down. Wanting to hear your voice and hear those words I so dearly need to hear right now. Wanting to stop crying and stop caring just so I can stop hurting.
But I can’t. I hurt. And I cry.
Yes, I wronged you. But I’ve said I have no idea how many times that I regret what I did and I’m sorry. Why can’t you forgive me and show some kind of emotion besides hate and irritation?!
Why do I keep those gifts you gave me in love? Why do I pray every night that you’ll talk to me and hang out with me when I get the feeling that you don’t really want to? Why do I feel like I’ve lost sight of who I am? Why do I even bother trying to talk to you when all you ever do is snap at me? Why dammit? Why?
I want to stop hurting. I want to stop crying for someone who acts like he doesn’t give a fig what happens to me. I want you to understand me dammit!
That is all I ever wanted from anyone. For them to understand who I am and why I am the way I am. But I want love as well.
I know I can seem like I have no emotions sometimes. But hell. I’m just like any other girl my age. I dream of marrying and having kids someday. But do you know what I dream of the most? Love.
And then I wonder why I have to love someone that snaps at me all the time. Seriously. Why the hell are you always snapping at me?! Why do I deserve that?! I’ve asked forgiveness and apologized. I don’t think I deserve to be snapped at on a regular basis!
Excuse me if I offend you throughout the rest of this. But now I’m pissed and I’m going to speak my mind for once. I never did before because I was afraid of losing the ones close to me. But now? I really don’t care anymore. It already seems like people are pissed at me or hell bent on pissing me off so why not be brutally honest?
Actually…
You know what? Never mind. I’m done ranting. There’s no use in it; besides letting off steam for me of course. But still. If my point is proven and you just shrug this off as well, with no outward reaction besides irritation, then I’ll finally let go.
I just hope we can continue to be friends. I don’t like losing people.
P.S.
You think you’re confused?! What about me?! I’m the one that is receiving mixed signals! You act like you care and then you act like you don’t! Will you make up your mind?! I’m tired of this game of cat and mouse! I don’t want to hide anymore!
Dammit!
If you can honestly tell me, that you don’t care for me at all, in any way shape or form, I’ll stop wishing on stars and praying to God you’ll give me a second chance.
Just thought you should know that. ¬¬
Why do I even bother trying to explain when it seems like you don’t even care? Why do I bother to keep wishing you would tell me that you love me when I know you’re not going too? Why do I bother getting frustrated when you don’t make any sense at all? Why?
Why do I bother crying over you when you don’t even seem to care anymore?
So many times I’ve cried. Wanting your touch to calm me down. Wanting to hear your voice and hear those words I so dearly need to hear right now. Wanting to stop crying and stop caring just so I can stop hurting.
But I can’t. I hurt. And I cry.
Yes, I wronged you. But I’ve said I have no idea how many times that I regret what I did and I’m sorry. Why can’t you forgive me and show some kind of emotion besides hate and irritation?!
Why do I keep those gifts you gave me in love? Why do I pray every night that you’ll talk to me and hang out with me when I get the feeling that you don’t really want to? Why do I feel like I’ve lost sight of who I am? Why do I even bother trying to talk to you when all you ever do is snap at me? Why dammit? Why?
I want to stop hurting. I want to stop crying for someone who acts like he doesn’t give a fig what happens to me. I want you to understand me dammit!
That is all I ever wanted from anyone. For them to understand who I am and why I am the way I am. But I want love as well.
I know I can seem like I have no emotions sometimes. But hell. I’m just like any other girl my age. I dream of marrying and having kids someday. But do you know what I dream of the most? Love.
And then I wonder why I have to love someone that snaps at me all the time. Seriously. Why the hell are you always snapping at me?! Why do I deserve that?! I’ve asked forgiveness and apologized. I don’t think I deserve to be snapped at on a regular basis!
Excuse me if I offend you throughout the rest of this. But now I’m pissed and I’m going to speak my mind for once. I never did before because I was afraid of losing the ones close to me. But now? I really don’t care anymore. It already seems like people are pissed at me or hell bent on pissing me off so why not be brutally honest?
Actually…
You know what? Never mind. I’m done ranting. There’s no use in it; besides letting off steam for me of course. But still. If my point is proven and you just shrug this off as well, with no outward reaction besides irritation, then I’ll finally let go.
I just hope we can continue to be friends. I don’t like losing people.
P.S.
You think you’re confused?! What about me?! I’m the one that is receiving mixed signals! You act like you care and then you act like you don’t! Will you make up your mind?! I’m tired of this game of cat and mouse! I don’t want to hide anymore!
Dammit!
If you can honestly tell me, that you don’t care for me at all, in any way shape or form, I’ll stop wishing on stars and praying to God you’ll give me a second chance.
Just thought you should know that. ¬¬